Who is Filthy Amy?

TW: Underage, CNC, Porn and Bondage (Pictures)

Hi Fellow Kinksters, 

I am Filthy Amy, some of you may already know me from my Instagram writing days or from FetLife or we must've chatted and connected. But, I never openly shared about why I am Filthy Amy and how did I got to that part of my life on Instagram and I believe before knowing about any of my filthy tales, you need to know about me. I have divided the whole journey into three parts with different years.

2008 to 2012:

It all started, if I recall correctly when I was 8 years old. The memory is as fresh as new, I didn't pay attention to it until I knew and explored about my kinks much later in my life. I was an innocent, 3rd grade kid who was watching a regular movie on a weekend with my family. It was like any other Bollywood movie, where the villain kidnaps the heroine and the hero kills the villain and saves the heroine. Well, all of that happened but I remember the heroine, after getting kidnapped was kept in a dark place, tied spread-eagle (though fully-clothed) and was kept waiting for her hero to save her. I remember that night, I imagined myself in her place (naked instead of fully-clothed), spread eagle and tied down. Surrounded by 5 guys who did nothing but humiliate me, I felt the tingling sensation down there thinking about this filthy situation I might be in. I enjoyed the feeling and continued with that thought, slowly started imaging up other things around as and when I saw more stuff. A small condom advertisement would turn me on. I didn't start touching myself until I was 12 years old. But I found that it took me a lot of time to feel that euphoric feeling with my fingers. I found out that water can help me out, had a jet spray which I'd use to masturbate. It would still take a lot of time to orgasm as I was still a teenager and just started feeling things and touching myself. 

2012-2015:

With time everything got better, it wouldn't take me a lot of time to orgasm and then I found the something which changed a lot of things for me and my sexuality, it felt like I found the treasure, its called porn. A secret porn stash of my parents (well, I am not that filthy, it was the pornos they watched before fucking, mostly to learn, how to do the deed). I clearly recall in the first video, there was a woman in bright pink bikini and was teasing the viewers with removing each layer while dancing sensually, no man around. Till then, everything was going good, I knew everything and it wasn't new to me as I had all those things too (early bloomer), a pussy and a pair of tits was nothing new to me but then suddenly on the screen I saw a man coming up to, the now naked woman, naked already with a big, hard thang bouncing between his legs. I was shocked speechless as that was the first time I saw a dick (of course, on screen). I was so confused as when I was young, I would see a my cousin brother naked and what I saw was not that huge thing but a small penis. I almost closed the laptop after watching that but then he started touching her, which made me stay and watch further. I got over my initial shock and enjoyed it. Didn't question the dick size and just went along with it (thinking that it grows when guys grow older too). I watched so many such pornos before I couldn't watch them anymore (the cd drive of my laptop got corrupted). 

After that, I struggled for a long time and had to resort to Hollywood movies on cable tv to get more such ideas in my head. Around that time, we got an Internet dongle at home to access internet (mostly for my father) but I would use it for my studies sometimes. But, when they went out and left me to my devices, I would sneak and use it to find some sexy stuff on YouTube (the year was 2012-13). YouTube at that time had some amazing stuff. Scenes from various Hollywood movies and Bollywood too. Anything that I could get my hands on, I watched. This went on until 2015 a
nd then I found porn sites and had easily accessible internet. I started watching porn online when I was 15 years old. 

Me, trying bondage like I always wanted to.

2016-2019:

In 2016, I just passed my 10th grade and we would go to a bookstore (called Crossword) to explore books. As my parents pushed me to read books, I downloaded Amazon Kindle App on my smartphone to read. Stumbled upon some romance novels there with steamy scenes. One day, visiting the bookstore, I found a copy of, Fifty Shades of Grey and read the first chapter which felt like any other Billionaire romance (a little boring). Before I could read any further, we had to leave the store. I didn't get back to it until a month later as I came back to the bookstore again and found that book in front of me again. I read two chapters this time. This time around it seemed very interesting enough to search on my Kindle to read it for free but couldn't find it. I was always good at digging up things (into research from the very beginning) and I searched the internet for a free pdf version of the book and finally found it! I read all three books, but the book that grabbed my most attention was the first one. As the thing that I felt ashamed of, the thing I would hide and think nobody would be into it too. Finally, I found that there are other people who are into it too, who are as filthy as me and even more. I was so happy. I was so happy to finally give it a name in my head (BDSM). Finally, I felt like I belonged somewhere. I started reading up on it, 2 long years of my research which included talking to other kinksters and just doing that with reading articles and write ups about it. Which really helped me figure it out and just not depending on Fifty Shades Of Grey as my source of learning about the community. What it really is and what is in that book, its very different. That's fiction, and we need to understand that. 

I wanted to be of legal age when I tried something in real, so I waited and learnt every thing that I had to. But when I turned 18, I finally started looking for people online to get into it slowly, for a whole year, it went on like a virtual/online thing with a guy who is now my good friend. He taught me a lot, but we never met during that time. After having my fair share of online, I wanted to feel the real touch of a male, which I have never felt, I wanted to get that real experience and I did all that. 

I will be writing about it in my next post, Mumbai, BJs and Police. My first ever experience. 

Thank you for reading till now, I hope to get constructive feedback about my writing style and things that I need to change in it. Feel free to comment anything that you didn't like.